THE X-FILES RANKED: 208 - The List (1 vote)

Tony Black continues the ultimate X-Files countdown of all 209 episodes, as voted by you, with Season 3 Episode 5, 'The List'...

In what certainly came as a surprise to me, the lowest rated episode of The X-Files Season 3 has turned out to be 'The List'; indeed this is the second worst X-File ever made with just one vote from a solitary fan. How can this be? Chris Carter's second attempt at both writing and directing, after Season 2's much more celebrated 'Duane Barry', has its flaws but does it really warrant such a low ranking? Is it worse than, say, 'Teso Dos Bichos' from Season 3, or even perhaps 'The Walk'? Does it not have more to say, more to offer, than begets a place in the dreaded bottom ten? For me, the answer is without question yes.

Now that's not me saying I consider this a favorite. I don't. I wouldn't put 'The List' anywhere near my top 25, probably not even my top 50. Yet I believe it has merit, in the story of Napoleon 'Neech' Manley, a murderer on Death Row who swears as he is electrocuted that he will exact vengeance, Biblically, on five men who wronged him in life, from beyond the grave. So begins a series of grisly and violent murders which Mulder & Scully arrive in smoky Florida to investigate, of principally prison guards within the penitentiary system being ran by harsh Warden Brodeur. Scully suspects a conspiracy, while Mulder becomes convinced Neech found a way to reincarnate his soul beyond death.

'The List' is a dark episode. It's violent, in places quite savagely so - see the haunting moment when Brodeur beats to death, in silhouette largely, Bokeem Woodbine's snitch Roque. It has rotting heads being eaten by maggots, corpses decaying in attics, and it drips with hot, sweaty Floridian atmosphere. The prison set goes a lot way to enhancing this sense of atmosphere - it took 10 days to build and sent the budget way over what was planned, but it remains one of the show's most vivid production design creations (indeed it was re-used for 'Teso Dos Bichos', the S3 finale 'Talitha Cumi' and was later rented out to other Vancouver productions). The maggots were real too!

Carter's story here is perhaps a little soapy and histrionic in places, with the twists and turns lost under a slightly sleazy gaze, but the concepts inherent in his script are fascinating; the education of Neech, reading books about transmigration of the soul (into in this case, an ominous fly); the commentary about the defects of a corrupt prison system, not to mention the undercurrent of race relations between the black prisoners, white guards and the almost colonial approach by Brodeur, played as ever to a vicious tee by the late, lamented J.T. Walsh. There's enough subtext behind the melodrama to make this creepy, gloomy and in places really quite gripping - and I love how the episode ends with both Mulder knowing he hasn't quite figured everything out, before some sublime comeuppance.

It's a shame 'The List' is this low because, for me, there's a lot to like, and a lot of other X-Files which don't match the standard shown here. It doesn't match some of Carter's other writer/director efforts, but Neech and his death list have always stuck in my mind. One you may want to give another look.

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Our blog team also decided to rank the show based on their own lists, so here's what they picked in 208th place:

Tony: "FEARFUL SYMMETRY: utter utter nonsense from beginning to end. Alien animal abduction is fine but not when it's tied into a horrendously preachy plot about activism, replete with a teeth-gratingly annoying guest performance from Jayne Atkinson. The moment the invisible elephant appeared is the moment I shouted BOLLOCKS. Complete shite."

Andrew: "TESO DOS BICHOS: Just a boring episode. Terrible idea, poor execution, and just… boring."

Carl: "FIRST PERSON SHOOTER. Asinine, juvenile nonsense. Calibrated to appeal to adolescent horndogs, badly damaging the integrity of the characters of Mulder & The Lone Gunmen as it goes. Feints at being a satire, but lacks any teeth or conviction. Boring, but punctuated by some unintentional hilarity. Given as Tony has lowered the tone by swearing, I'll join in: First Person Shooter is a bag of wank."

Paige: "SHAPES. The show often tackled real issues, with differing degrees of success. I feel they felt short here on the Native American front and not only that, the ep bored me to tears."

Sarah: "JUMP THE SHARK. This is one where my personal feelings overrule my critical opinion. The Lone Gunmen were icons of the show. They deserved much better."

Do you agree with this episode ranking? Let us know what you would put in this spot on Facebook, Twitter or via comments below!

THE X-FILES RANKED: 209 - Miracle Man (0 votes)

Sarah Blair begins the ultimate X-Files countdown of all 209 episodes, starting from the very bottom to the top as voted by you, with Season 1 Episode 18, 'Miracle Man'...

Here we have it, the one and only episode of The X-Files to come through with zero votes. To be quite honest, I thought there would have been more episodes to surface empty-handed. I most definitely never would have guessed the one to obtain this dubious honor would be ‘Miracle Man.’

Certainly, there are many endeavors over the course of the show that didn’t quite pan out the way Chris Carter and crew might have liked. Not all of them can be winners. With a breakneck production schedule, as well as monetary and network challenges, honestly, it’s a wonder The X-Files was able to pull off as many spectacular episodes that it did. But out of all of them, I feel like ‘Miracle Man’ is deserving of at least one vote.

As episode 18 of the first season, this marks the first ever writing collaboration between the show’s creator Chris Carter and producer Howard Gordon. In this standalone, agents Mulder and Scully travel to a small town in Tennessee to investigate a death in a popular tent ministry. The son of the minister is said to have the power to heal the sick, but his gift of life seems to have turned into the touch of death. Upon a re-watch, it seems there are a lot of ideas trying to be dealt with in a short amount of time. And isn’t that somewhat typical for the episodes penned by Carter? A great man with big ideas and not enough time and space to flesh them out properly. There’s the overarching theme of faith, along with Samuel’s struggle with his gift, and Mulder’s search and longing for his sister thrown in for good measure. All topics which could have been singled out and honed in on to craft a more memorable viewing experience.

One of only four episodes in the series directed by Michael Lange, it’s relatively straightforward, focusing mostly on the story rather than any spectacular visual effects. Not to mention, there was the giant hurdle of trying to make-over several Vancouver locations meant to represent Tennessee, and the fact that the Canadian actors all had a different idea of what a Southern American accent sounds like. (Side note: As a girl born and raised in Tennessee, I can tell you not one of them came close to sounding like a true Tennessean, but I applaud the effort.)

The moments where Mulder clings to the idea of discovering more about what might have become of his sister, and Scully rushing in to prevent him from having the wool pulled over his eyes are strong in establishing the foundation of each character and the relationship between them as partners and friends. Overall, this is where I believe the episode obtains most of its value.

Is ‘Miracle Man’ an outstanding or memorable episode? Not particularly. But it doesn’t entirely lack merit, and it deserves at least one point—if only for participation.

Memorable Quotes:

Sheriff Daniels: “99% of the people in this world are fools, and the rest of us are in danger of contagion.”

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Mulder: “I think I saw some of these same people at Woodstock.”

Scully: “Mulder, you weren’t at Woodstock.”

Mulder: “I saw the movie.”

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Scully: “You’ve got that look on your face, Mulder.”

Mulder: “What look is that?”

Scully: “The kind when you’ve forgotten your keys and you’re trying to figure out how to get back in the house.”

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Our blog team also decided to rank the show based on their own lists, so here's what they picked in 209th place:

Tony: "BABYLON. For years it would probably have been 'Fearful Symmetry', but this was just absolute indefensible guff. Rampantly pretentious, borderline offensive in its approach to racial politics, and nonsensical while trying to be profound - Mulder's acid trip is just about the worst idea the show ever did, and this show did invisible elephants and space ghosts. This episode can fuck the fuck off until the end of time."

Andrew: "BABYLON. Shallow, terrible, terrible dialogue, terrible characterization, just terrible on absolutely every single front. No mystery here. Just Chris Carter at his absolute worst. This episode makes 'Fight Club' look like a Marx brothers’ masterpiece. Warning: The Mulder dance sequence may induce vomiting."

Paige: "3. It's an easy target -- an early ep without Scully. But there's just nothing remotely likeable about this one. It utilizes dozens of standard vampire conventions with the added hubris of casting David Duchovny's then-girlfriend so Mulder can get some."

Carl: "FIGHT CLUB. Mulder gets sucked into a storm drain and misses part of the action during this episode, and to be honest I was somewhat envious. It's a screechingly unfunny, tonally incoherent mishmash of an X-File with nothing to recommend about it. Doppelgängers are clearly something that interest Carter, but he found much better ways to incorporate them into other episodes."

Sarah: "THE TRUTH 1 &2. A ridiculous and unfulfilling finale as far as series finales go. It's the one and only episode on the show I've taken a solemn vow to never watch again. I'd like to live in my little bubble and pretend it doesn't even exist. It was a great relief when we got the second film and a much more satisfying ending."

Do you agree with this episode ranking? Let us know what you would put in this spot on Facebook, Twitter or via comments below!